A Counterfeit Parent

I have Ann Welch listed under blogs I like. I do not know her in real life but enjoy her blog and her honesty about life, raising children and her faith.

I am taking a big part of her recent blog post and putting in here because I also find it true in people. She puts it better than I ever could. I pray for and am fearful for kids I know (not only kids I see in my job) as they grow up, with their faith and their relationships with others. 

I posted the link to the whole blog post at the bottom of the post:

"If I could sum up what I want to be more than anything as a parent is would be that I DON'T WANT TO BE A COUNTERFEIT CHRISTIAN. I think this might just be the core. The simplicity of parenting that we overlook and fasten on so many other things to.


How do we prepare our kids to face real life (because they will one day or another unless you just have them live with you or next door to you on some compound until you die - not suggesting that) and to wage war against the selfishness, lust, the temptations of the world? I don't think there is a better way to prepare them then to be the "real deal" ourselves.

There are a lot of counterfeit parents. The children grow up thinking that's Christianity - when it's just counterfeit.

People wonder why children turn against their parents' faith -- often times it's because it wasn't real faith. It was just religion. A lifestyle with God's name attached to it. Children need to taste true Christianity, not counterfeit. They know the difference, deep down.

When I think of "counterfeit" I think this could define parenting as well. . .

-It's the parent who tells their children to be kind to their brother and then yells at them when they spill a glass of milk.

-It's the parent who tells them to be leader and stand alone, and yet follows and lifts up the next homeschooling speaker that comes along instead of searching things out for themselves and seeking God above man.
-It's the mother who tells her son not to look at porn but is constantly eying and looking in judgement at every good looking women who isn't dressed as she thinks she should be. Judgmental-ness in parents can often drive the children to the world. Their heart knows the hypocrisy.

-It's having a form a religion (or godliness) but denying it's power (verse in Col. somewhere).

-It's the mom who tells her kids not to be selfish but can't take a day away not indulging in computer addiction.

-It's the parents who give to missions but wouldn't dare dream of preparing their children to be in situations where they would have to be light themselves.

-It's telling our kids to not complain and yet they know we live in discontentment and bitterness over our circumstances.

-It's telling our children to love others when they hear us talk badly to our husband about everyone we think isn't doing what we think they should.

-It's demanding in idolatry and pride that our children honor us and not living a life deserving of it.

-It's acting one way around our family, and putting on a show in public that is really not who we are.

-It's promoting modesty and morality yet flirting with the opposite sex or using our words or actions to receive affirmation from those who are not our spouse.

-It's telling our kids to obey without question, yet they see us worry and fret and question God over the smallest things. They see a lack of trust in our lives, so why should they trust us? And why should they trust "our" God?

-It's getting onto our kids for being lazy, but looking to them to do things that really we could do ourselves if we'd just get off our backside.

-It's getting embarrassed when are kids do something in public that doesn't make us feel or look good, yet correcting our spouse in public, never thinking of his feelings.

-It's requiring our children submit to our desires when we won't even think twice about denying our husband's.

-It's telling them to look to God, and yet finding satisfaction and filling our emptiness with anything but God.

-It's telling them that the heart is what matters, and yet spending tons of thought, time, and money on our own outward appearance.

-It's getting upset when they are proud. It's getting angry when they frustrate us.

-It's telling them not to lie, and yet not openly acknowledging and confessing when we are wrong. I can't write how many times I've seen this to be true - parents who are not humble enough to be honest with their failures and sins with their own children - confessing and repenting when they are wrong. . .

It's like the result is children who grow up to be the most supreme liars - not just in word, but with hidden lifestyles and addictions. It's a sure way to raise a counterfeit Christian: adult children who have the form of godliness yet have no power of God in their life.

Counterfeit: it's when the outward appearance of something seems like the real thing - but it's not the real thing. Counterfeit parent: the appearance of a good parent, but our children really know differently.

So does this mean that if we aren't always godly, perfect parents - saying one thing, but live another - that our kids are destined for hell?

Thank God, no - He saves all kinds from all backgrounds. But I do think by living as counterfeit Christians/parents that we give our children much to overcome in understanding God and true relationship with Him.

I wonder if the biggest and greatest thing we can be and do as a parent is to not be counterfeit.

I wonder if our kids would be able to spot counterfeit quicker if they lived with the real thing.

I wonder if our kids would be less pulled by the world, more open to God.

I wonder if parenting is really simply between God and me. I wonder if to be the best parent is to be the same in my home as I am to others outside the home.

I wonder if to be a good parent is to be quick to confess, slow to anger, real and open in communication with God - and has a whole lot less to do with forms of child training, education, and parenting techniques.

I wonder if we were all honest with ourselves if we'd find we are more counterfeit Christians to our children than the real deal. I beg myself to ask this question and be real with it.

Ultimately the hearts of my children, their lives, their eternal destiny, relies upon the God who made them.

But as parent, for many years, their formidable years, I am who they associate God and Christianity.

I can set up a big ol' wall and a stumbling block for them in coming to God - or I can be an avenue in which they come to understand and know Him by. God can break through any wall, but my calling as a parent isn't to be that wall!"

http://resolved2worship.xanga.com/744945771/a-counterfeit-parent/